The Saddest Thing I Have Ever Known

I cry myself to sleep at night dreaming about it. My train has already passed, long ago. I have long run my legs off chasing after it, trying to board. Trailing in its path, choking on its dust, at times getting so close, I could almost have grasped the rail, and been whisked away. I could have joined the relieved faces who stared back from the windows, their expressions; some mocking, some full of pity. So bad did I want to join them, but I was too weak, I could not do it alone, without the guidance of those who bear thee. I have long given up the chase, fallen to my knees, and cried out in pain. I clawed at the dirt in agony and misery, frustration had taken over. The anger had grown hotter, the pain more mindsplitting. Isolated and alone, there was no one to relieve the sorrow. It raged on, the tears shed one after the other, fallen to the ground, forming a puddle after time, so long it seemed it would never end. I reached a climax, many times before. After a while it seemed pointless, no one could hear my cries, no one could help. I grew accustomed to my echoes. The headaches became unnoticeable. The tears were soon welcomed. I was fond of abandonment. I could not bear to leave it behind, no matter how unbearable it seemed, I clung on to it like a stray to a rotting piece of flesh. Without it I would have had no substance, no character, nothing. Something holds me back, keeps my teeth clenched. I fear the unknown. I had no intentions of boarding the next train. This, is the saddest thing that I have ever known.