Reflections in the Glass

I pass by the open door, and at a quick glance
I could have sworn it was him.
Your manner is unforgettable, even with a new voice.
A joke told before, by someone so similar.
Even though you are far, your presence feels near,
I even find it in myself, as a constant reminder.

We're yelling and arguing again,
but I swear I hear her.
Stubborness like that is unmistakeable,
even when accompanied by sensibility.
A deju vu manifested, over and over again.
Putting distance between us is futile,
No matter where I turn, I'll always have to face you.

I look in the mirror, and see a reflection,
one with dark hair and dark eyes.

The Other Day

I realized how passive I really am.

You were right of course.


There's so much to say, but the words escape me.
So many unanswered questions, but where to start?
So much to explain, if only it could be understood.

I'm so tired. I should just do what I do best, and hold my tongue.

Shoot the Messenger

"Finding myself". I hate that phrase. To me, it describes nothing, and it is far too cliche, offering only an excuse. Alas I find myself using this phrase for lack of a better one. I am a creature who is misunderstood, but then again what else is new?

Therapists must be so frustrated with themselves at times. What a curse, to understand why you are the way you are, but not being able to do anything about it. I'm sorry. It's not easy to change one's character, please afford me the same patience I do for you. Do not think any less of me, please, just give me time. Alas time is often a luxury I do not have.

I cannot change what is out of my control, I can only do my best to ease the pain. You are however too busy with your troubles to see mine. I suppose mine aren't as important as yours, or perhaps I am not noble enough to be worthy of your time. I say this with both sarcasm and forlorn truth. I just can't do anything right, I always seem to fuck it up. I deserve it. I can't help but cry though.

I'm always walking on eggshells. That's probably why I'm so twitchy. I didn't want to be another statistic or a burden. That's probably why you think I'm acting mature. I feel so helpless. That's probably why I'm so controlling. I have been ignored so much. That's probably why you think I'm annoying. I absolutely hate upsetting you. That's probably why I walk away. I am always wrong.

That truly hurts.

"Back to Basics with Jesus"

When people put titles before their own personal judgement, they stop thinking and start believing.

Only God can judge me.

To be continued...